Addicted to You
by An-Jelly-Ca
Summary: MWPP era. Lily finally gets through to James, resulting in the anger of Sirus and the concern of Remus. Will Lily realize that maybe James isn't as much of a jerk as she thought he was? Please R&R! Chapter 6 Up! Complete!
1. Addicted

**A/N Hi, everybody! This is my first Harry Potter story! I hope everyone likes it review please!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but I think that is pretty obvious because if I did Peter wouldn't exist, James and Lily never would have died, AND SIRIUS DEFINITLY WOULDN'T HAVE DIED! **

"Go, out with me Evans?"

"No, Potter." Lily Evans said rolling her eyes at James Potter, couldn't he just give up and leave her alone?

"Why, not?" James said with his insufferable grin firmly in place hair messed up as always.

"Because. Potter. I. Hate. You. And. You. Are. An. Insufferable. Arrogant. Git." Lily ground out with the air of someone explaining something terribly complicated to a four year old.

"Come on, Evans, you know you don't mean that." James responded.

"I MEAN IT POTTER, LEAVE ME ALONE BEFORE I GO TO MCGONAGALL AND GET HER TO PUT ME IN SEPARATE CLASSES FROM YOU!" Lily screamed. "I don't like you and I never will so just leave me alone." She finished storming away not turning toward James not seeing the hurt that flashed across his face nor the broken look in his eyes. He really cared but she wouldn't see it. Sirius saw it though.

"Come on, mate" Sirius said putting his arm around James' shoulders and leading him down the hall toward the Gryffindor common room.

"She said she hates me." James said softly.

"She always says that, Prongs." Sirius said hoping it would make James feel a little better.

"Not, like this, she meant it, really meant it." James said sadly.

"Don't worry, Prongsie." Sirius said hoping the use of an sie on James' nickname would produce the usual result of extracting annoyance from his best friend, but James didn't even look up. Sirius sighed Lily would pay for this if Sirius had any thing to say about it, and Sirius always had something to say about it.

**I heard you're doing okay  
But I want you to know  
I'm a dick  
I'm addicted to you  
I can't pretend I don't care  
When you don't think about me  
Do you think I deserve this?  
**

Lily thought it was strange when she went through a whole day without any invites to Hogsmeade or any thing of the likes from James Potter. She thought it was odd when their were no pranks played on Snape the entire day. She thought that something was downright wrong when Sirius Black glared at her all through lunch, she and Sirius had always gotten along all right other then when he was pranking Snape of course.

James stared sadly across the table at Lily he'd tried to get her to see that he really cared about her, really wanted her to go out with him, but she never believed him. James sighed when he paused in his Lily-watching when he felt someone watching him. He looked up and saw Remus looking at him in concern. James gave his friend a small nod, Sirius must have told him what happened. James turned his attention to Sirius briefly anyway and noticed that his friend was glaring full force at Lily. Lily. The only girl he'd ever _wanted _to actually go out with, _really wanted_, he'd _liked_ other girls, _looked forward _to seeing them, but he _loved_ Lily, he _wanted _to go out with her. Lily so was special, James couldn't get enough of her, he'd tried to like other girls, I mean Lily was pretty, but she was always sticking up for Snivellus so why in the name of Merlin did James want to go out with her so badly? It was as if she were air.

**I tried to make you happy but you left anyway**  
Lily suppressed a yawn, Binns' class really was quite dull. She always _tried_ to pay attention usually staying alert wasn't a problem because Potter and Black were always pulling some prank while Remus hissed at them the horrible consequences that their actions would amount to and Pettigrew well slept. Potter seemed to be too busty moping to pull a prank. _Wonder what's wrong with him? Maybe his broomstick broke? _And Black seemed to busy glaring at her to worry about anything else, it was a well known fact that Sirius Black had a short attention span, and liked to have fun via prank pulling, but for some odd reason he seemed to have enough focus to glare at her for three days straight.

_Why won't you give me a chance? Why don't you like me? Why? Why? Why? _James wondered hitting his head on the desk with each why. His actions served only to A. Give him a migraine, B. Cause Remus to look at him in _even greater _concern, C. Cause Sirius to glare at Lily with even more venom, and D. Earn him odd looks from everyone else in the class, especially Lily who appeared to think he'd finally lost his mind. Not that she cared. James wished reverently that he could just forget Lily's harsh words and move on.

**I'm trying to forget that  
I'm addicted to you  
But I want it and I need it  
I'm addicted to you  
Now it's over  
Can't forget what you said  
And I never wanna do this again  
Heartbreaker  
Heartbreaker  
Heartbreaker**

Lily could remember the first day she'd met James. He and Sirius had already been conspiring pranks, when they'd just met hours before eon the train. They had sat heads together whispering something. Sirius had nodded excitedly when James said something, pausing in his response to lean over and whisper what James' had said to Remus who looked slightly apprehensive but gave Sirius a small smile. James and Sirius had looked at each other flashing each other identical smirks before with a mischievous twinkle in their eyes facing forward to give McGonagall their 'full attention' as she explained the sorting to the first years.

**Flashback Lily's POV**

"Professor?" Sirius asked innocently.

"Yes, Mr. Black? Did you have a question in regards to your sorting?" McGonagall asked.

"You could call it that. Is there a rule against hexing family members?" He asked innocently.

"Yes, Mr. Black, so I suggest that you do not even **think **about hexing your cousins."

"I would never dream of hexing Andromeda." Sirius said pretending to not know who she was referring to.

"I wasn't referring to Andromeda, Mr. Black, and you know perfectly well whom I was referring to." McGonagall was so busy dealing with Sirius that she didn't see James carefully point at the stool on which the sorting hat rest and whisper an incantation. James smirked and tucked his wand up his sleeve raising his hand.

"Yes, Mr. Potter?" McGonagall asked.

"Is it against school rules, for me to curse Sirius' cousins for him?" James inquired.

"Yes, indeed it is." While James had been asking this Sirius too had pointed at the stool whispering a second spell. Remus has quickly followed that spell with one of his own. "All right if you two have no more questions we will proceed with the sorting." McGonagall said.

"No, no, go ahead Professor." Sirius had said with a smirk. McGonagall scowled at the boy and picked up the hat and stool leading the first years into the great hall.

"Black, Sirius." McGonagall called.

"GRYFINDOR!" The hat shouted after barely a moments pause. To the great surprise of everyone in the hall the stool spoke up as well saying… "Another wonderful Gryffindor! Sad really that they can't all be." Everyone roared with laughter, except the Slytherins and the professors wrote it off as a freak occurrence.

"Malfoy, Lucius." McGonagall called.

"SLYTHERIN!" The hat said.

"Pity really that we have to let them in." The stool had added.

"Lupin, Remus." McGonagall called hoping the stool would shut up, Dumbledore sent a spell at the stool but to his great amazement it deflected it.

"GRYFINDOR!"

"Ah, yes another wonderful addition to our fair school." The stool said gleefully.

"Evans, Lily." I stood up and walked to the stool willing it to shut up.

"GRYFINDOR!" Great, now I was stuck with that moron, Black and more then likely Potter as well.

"YES! Another addition to the noblest house of Hogwarts, and a beautiful one at that!" The chair exclaimed.

"Potter, James." McGonagall called now red faced with anger.

"GRYFINDOR!"

"This one will be a wonderful addition to the best house!" the chair shouted.

"Snape, Severus."

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Greasy git belongs in that house." The chair said dryly. On and on the sorting went with the chair applauding Gryffindors, being decent to Hufflepuffs, asking Ravenclaws to inform the Slytherins of their extreme stupidity in a manner they could understand, and above all mocking the Slytherins.

"Potter, Black, Lupin. Follow me. Now." McGonagall commanded.

End Flashback

He had been insufferable even then, and he had gotten off scott free all because Black had charmed the professor with theatrics claiming that they had merely tried to get the chair to give everyone a compliment, but their spell had backfired. He had finished it off with puppy dog eyes.

**Since the day I met you  
And after all we've been through  
I'm still a dick  
I'm addicted to you  
I think you know that it's true  
I'd run a thousand miles to get you  
Do you think I deserve this?  
**

James wished Lily could let him in just for a second. He had loved her the moment he saw her. Sirius had laughed his head off, because James had run into a wall staring at her. Sirius had found it all terribly funny. Remus had hit Sirius on the back of the head for mocking James, but it didn't produce the desired affect anyway.

**How long will I be waiting?  
Until the end of time  
I don't know why I'm still waiting  
I can't make you mine**

"How long do you expect him to wait, Evans?" Sirius asked quietly coming up behind Lily unnoticed.

"I don't expect him to wait, I expect him to give up his games and go bother someone else." Lily responded.

"Are you sure about that, Evans?" Sirius had challenged.

"N-yeah." Lily replied stumbling over her answer.

"Doesn't sound very convincing to me." Sirius said evenly before turning around and walking away.

**  
I'm trying to forget that  
I'm addicted to you  
But I want it and I need it  
I'm addicted to you**

"You can't spend your life locked in the dormitory moping over, Evans." Remus told his friend gently.

"Why not?" James said miserably.

"James, you can find a different girl, one who wants to date you." Remus said hoping it would help get James to get over Lily.

"No, I can't there aren't any girls like her she's the only one!" James said sadly.

**Heartbreaker  
I'm addicted to you  
Heartbreaker  
I'm addicted to you  
Heartbreaker  
I'm addicted to you  
Heartbreaker  
I'm addicted to you  
Heartbreaker**

Lily frowned to herself was it possible Potter really wanted to go out with her? No_. Are you sure? _A little voice asked Lily ignored it. _He just liked the challenge of trying to get me to say yes. Right? No. _The voice replied.

"You're breaking his heart you know." Remus Lupin stated coming up behind her much like his friend had earlier.

"He's an arrogant jerk he doesn't really want to go out with me." Lily replied.

"James may be arrogant, but he is not a jerk." Remus replied. "Do you even really know him? Do you know how he takes Sirius in every summer because his parents despise him? Do you know how he befriended Peter when no one else would? I don't think you know any of that, Evans, because if you did you wouldn't be able to look me in then eyes and call James a jerk." Remus said simply leaving Lily speechless and shocked.

**A/N I hope everyone liked it! There's going to be more chapters, it'll probably be a two- possible three shot. So, review please everybody. This is my first story in the Harry Potter section, so I'd really love to know what everyone thinks!  
**


	2. Ain't it Funny

**A/N I hope everyone like shtis chapter! HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY! 2007!!! YAY!**

**Thank You to all Reviewers!!!**

**Song: Ain't it Funny by Jennifer Lopez**

**Disclaimer: Sirius is…dead…gasp!…no he's not!…she lies…she lies…RIGHT…???!!!**

It seems so strange to think of James Potter in a context other then one that involves the word's arrogant, pompous, jerk, and or git, but after talking to Remus I feel like I should at least like try to see _some _good in Potter. Easier said then done. At least to my thinking. I guess, I'll have to resort to thinking through my memories of Potter until I find something that makes him seem like not a jerk…uh…Let's think…I was on my way back from the library where I had been studying for our end of year exams, I was in the hallway before the one that led to Gryffindor Tower when I happened upon Potter and Black who was looking decidedly upset.

**Flashback (Lily's)**

"It's okay, Siri." Potter was saying. Black shook his head and his fist clenched tighter on what he was holding which appeared to be an envelope. "Let me see it, Padfoot." James ordered.

"No, Prongs." I was wondering what was up with those nicknames.

"Sirius…" James no Potter said holding out his hand for the envelope.

"It's okay, James, I'll be fine, don't worry about it."

"Give me the envelope, Siri, don't make me get Remus involved in this." James threatened. Damn Potter! His name is P-O-T-T-E-R!

"Uh…there's really no need to do that Jamesie. Remus will get all concerned like he **always **does and then I'll have to **listen** to him!" Black exclaimed.

"Well, then Siri, there's really only one solution…" James started. "Give. Me. The. Envelope." James finished. Black smirked and took the letter out of the envelope and handed James the envelope.

"Sirius Orion Black!" James said warningly. "The letter…" Potter said holding his hand out for it.

"Can't you just leave this alone?" Black asked.

"No, Padfoot, I can't, now give me the letter." Potter demanded.

"Fine…" Black said handing over the letter. Potter took it from him and read through it quickly.

"They're ba, Sirius, they don't know what they're talking about, you're a good person, they just want to control you, it's okay Siri." James had said trying to comfort his friend.

**End Flashback**

Okay so maybe there's one example of Potter acting normal…okay nice…like a good person…that doesn't prove anything though…maybe…no…it doesn't…or…does it…?

**It seemed to be like the perfect thing for you and me  
It's so ironic you're what I had pictured you to be  
But there are facts in our lives  
We can never change  
Just tell me that you understand and feel the same  
This perfect romance that I've created in my mind  
I'd live a thousand lives  
Each one with you right by my side  
But yet we find ourselves in a less than perfect circumstance  
And so it seems like we'll never have the chance**

"Black." I greeted grudgingly when he approached me.

"Evans." He acknowledged.

"Something I can help you with." I asked raising an eyebrow when he didn't speak.

"Don't you think it's funny for all the time you spend saying you hate James you can't seem to deny liking him?"

"I do not deny liking him!' I realized me mistake a second too late. I meant to say I do not like him, so there is nothing to deny…

"Hmm, seems like you're having trouble with your words lately, Evans, maybe you're having trouble lying to yourself…?" Black mused.

"I am not."

"Huh, because I seem to remember _someone _essentially saying she liked James, while she insists that she hates him, and that _same _someone also couldn't say for sure that she didn't like James…hmm…interesting, Evans, really interesting." Black said before walking away to talk to some fifth year Ravenclaw girl and leaving me more confused then I was before.

**Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny (Oh)  
And you can't move on even though you try (Oh)  
Ain't it strange when you're feeling things you shouldn't feel  
Oh, I wish this could be real  
Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life (Oh)  
And you don't want to face what's wrong or right (No)  
Ain't it strange how fate can play a part  
In the story of your heart**

From the day I got my Hogwarts letter my plans we're simple and 'set in stone' so to speak. Go to school, get best grades in class, get good job in magical community, avoid distracting boys (James to a T). From the day term started in first year it seemed that one James Potter was determined to change my plans. I _tried _to ignore him, but Potter refused to be ignored. I was so scared when I got to Hogwarts scared because I didn't think I belonged here, I hid it with a know-it-all attitude but it was there but for some reason the annoying Potter actually brought me comfort the way he didn't care that I was muggleborn…unlike the Slytherins…Snape is always insulting me…and yet I always insist on sticking up for him against James…why…? Is it possible that I could like…Potter…James…NO!…maybe…?

**Sometimes I think that a true love can never be  
I just believe that somehow it wasn't meant for me  
Life can be cruel in a way that I can't explain  
And I don't think that I could face it all again  
I barely know you but somehow I know what you're about  
A deeper love I've found in you  
And I no longer doubt  
You've touched my heart and it altered every plan I've made  
And now I feel that I don't have to be afraid  
**

I had sworn that I would be so blasé about everything and perfectly calm and focused and not think of anything besides school…well Potter it seemed had different ideas…maybe I was being naïve to think that I could get through school with my head down and my nose in a book just to prove I could me as good as any pureblood…not that I've managed it anyway what with Potter making me so mad with his lame come-ons. _Are they really that lame…? **Uh…yeah…**okay they really are…but it's the thought that counts…right…? **Uh…sure**. _Okay maybe…Potter…might be a…decent…gulp…person…maybe… look there's Potter. Maybe, I should like move so he doesn't like see me. I ducked behind a suit of armor as Black, Potter, and Lupin walked past. Potter still looked sad, Lupin still looked concerned, although that was the look her regularly wore when it came to Black or Potter but if my friends had their pension for getting into trouble I'd be concerned to…Honestly…and Black looked well angry but not with Potter at least. Probably with me, that seems to be his attitude around me lately…grr…I do not care that Potter looks upset…nope…I don't _even_ believe me…okay…maybe I care…a little…or…a…lot…but that doesn't mean I like Potter…right? RIGHT???? _Uh…Sure! _The little voice responded annoying me some more.

**Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny  
And you can't move on even though you try  
Ain't it strange when you're feeling things you shouldn't feel  
Oh, I wish this could be real, oh yeah, oh yeah  
Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life   
And you don't want to face what's wrong or right , no no  
Ain't it strange how fate can play a part  
In the story of your heart, oh yeah  
**

**A/N I hope everyone liked it!!! You liked it right??? Review please!!! **


	3. I Thought She Knew

**A/N OMG! I am so sorry for the long wait! And omg Mar-Gar I am totally fighting the urge to not update this and go read ur two updates, lol, I'm updating just for you!! Lol. **

**Song: I Thought She Knew by 'NSYNC**

**Disclaimer: Scusi, che cosa ha detto?...Capisco Bennessimo! (The little wizard thinks I'm speaking Spanish!!! I am not. Lol.) **

Lily Evans has always been different then the other girl I've liked in the past. Every other girl I've liked or dated for that matter, actually I've dated every girl I've ever liked (excluding Evans) they just can't seem to resist me, where as the only girl I've ever really liked (Evans) seems to have no trouble resisting me. That is just so frikin hilarious., has had several things in common. They were usually blond (unlike Lily), dumb (Totally unlike Lily) loved pranks (Do I even need to tell you?) and also never, ever, ever, never defended Snivellus. (I don't even understand how Evans manages to do it without puking. Seriously.) Anyway back to Lily. She is the opposite of every girl I've ever been interested in, hell she's actually the pinnacle of everything that would make me _uninterested_ in a girl! However, I love Lily. She doesn't really seem to get it though, every time I tell her she laughs in my face and tells me to stop bugging her. I'll admit that maybe, just maybe, some of my, er methods, of getting her to uh realize her deep and undying love might not have been the, er smartest choices. But seriously, we must take into account that I asked Sirius for help on these exploits, and well Sirius quite frankly dates idiots, hyperactive idiots who like to look pretty, just like him, I will say this though they hardly fight and they do win quite a few nominations for hottest couple, and most likely to annoy the hell out of our professors with airheadness (is that a word? Lily wouldn't like that word I bet, but I think it has a nice ring to it) of the material. Sirius is a great friend though he mostly acts like an idiot, sure he's a bit spacey, but he is one of the bets in our year in Transfiguration (pains McGonagall to admit it, Evans as well, makes her sick.) Sirius also has this perception, like he notices things, when it matters anyways, he uses it mostly for pranks, but sometimes he uses it like he did yesterday with Evans. (A prefect heard their conversation, who told Remus, his fellow prefect, who told me.) Anyways like I was saying when he gets in one of those moods he notices things, like Remus was telling me that he apparently tripped Evans into admitting that maybe she doesn't hate me and could perhaps like me, which leads me to the ultimate point of my whole speech here, if Evans likes me then why won't she except that I really do like her? She says she hates me every day. And I thought I finally believed her, but now…I don't know, is it possible she does like me and that this is just an odd manifestation of the female psyche? (no I do not no what that means, Remus just said that and it sounded good.) So, if all that is true would it be advantageous for me to simply go and ask her out, again? Or is Remus, Merlin forgive me, wrong??? Good thing Remus will never read this, because wow would he flip if he saw his name and wrong in the same sentence.

**She was my once in a lifetime  
Happy ending come true  
Oh I guess I should have told her  
But I thought she knew**

Lily always claims I treat her badly, but honestly, I don't see what I do wrong. I really would like to know. I'd stop doing it, I really would, Evans would be worth it, not that I can tell _her_ that, she'd never believe me, I thought she understood that I really and truly do care about her but nothing I say to her seems to get across to her, and it's not like I haven't presented my feelings to her in a variety of ways. Take for example the time I gave Sirius an everlasting chocolate and coffee combo sucker (Remus still hasn't forgiven me, Sirius had to be chased through the school later he was shaking so much he looked more like a blur then a solid figure, they had to lock him in a quite room, with nothing dangerous in it.) to sneak up to the Astronomy tower lock the door and broadcast Lily Evans and James Potter forever, like literally, he spelled his voice loud, and kept repeating things like that over and over, it was hysterical. Uh, Lily didn't exactly find it so funny.

**Flashback**

"Professor, could I talk with you about this essay?" Remus Lupin asked.

"Lupin, you got an O." McGonagall said blinking at the boy astonished, so astonished in fact that she did not see a head of black hair tiptoe past her up to the Astronomy tower, (Students weren't allowed up there unsupervised.)

"I know professor, but I was wondering if you would go over some of the finer points with me? Peter needs some help and I'm not quite sure how to explain it to him, and well you saw his essay, Professor." McGonagall grimaced, she had seen his essay all right, not that you could really see it anymore what with all the red marks.

"All right, Lupin. Let's go to my office." McGonagall said leading the way not seeing James send his friend a thumbs up from behind a suit of amour. James then grabbed his broomstick and headed to the Great Hall which would still be empty, lunch wasn't for another fifteen minutes. Grinning he swung a leg over his broom and flew up into a corner of the Hall, out of sight. He waited silently for the signal, ah there it was. Peter came running into the hall toward the head table.

"Professor, come quick!"

"What is it, Pettigrew." Slughorn asked.

"Sirius was trying to help me with a potion and my cauldron exploded and some landed on him!!! He looked really pale! You have to come quick!" Pettigrew said looking anxious.

"Merlin, you haven't killed him have you Pettigrew?" Killing the heir to a pure-blood family, such as the Blacks, would not be looked upon favorably, whether the Blacks happened to like their son or not.

"Um, I think he was breathing."

"All right I'm going to need help on this!" Slughorn told the other Professors everyone followed him except Dumbledore who stayed to supervise the students. Once the professors had left and everyone was chatting excitedly, James lit the special firework he had designed together with Sirius and Remus, it wouldn't dissolve, it would follow the person it was geared toward (Evans, duh) for a full two weeks. It erupted into a bright pink heart with a silver arrow going through the center, written in the center in flowing script was I love you, Lily Evans, the future Mrs. James Potter.

"Oi, I'll kill you POTTER!" Lily screamed once she'd read it. Sirius heard the fireworks launch and enacted his part in the plan.

"LILY AND JAMES FOREVER! THE FUTURE MR. AND MRS. POTTER!!! DON'T THEY MAKE A CUTE COUPLE?? I MUST SAY THEY ARE THE CUTEST I'VE EVER SEEN. GIVE IM A KISS, LILS. KISS HIM. KISS HIM. COME ON JOIN THE CHANT EVERYBODY! I KNOW YOU NASTY SLYTHERINS ARE TOO BUSY MOPING ABOUT BUT GRYFINDORS I KNOW YOU'LL HELP, AND HUFFLEPUFFS YOU WANT TO ENCOURAGE LOVE DON'T YOU??? COME ON RAVENCLAWS GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THOSE BOOKS, TAKE A BREAK. KISS HIM! KISS HER! KISS HIM! KISS HER! KISS HIM! KISS HER! KISS HIM!" Sirius screamed from the Astronomy tower, yes screamed, and did I mention his voice was amplified magically on top of the screaming.

"KISS HIM, KISS HER, KISS HIM, KISS HER." The crowd screamed with their hands over their ears trying and failing to save their remaining hearing. Dumbledore however had curiously gone deaf and blind and was currently staring at the ceiling blue eyes twinkling madly.

"COME ON EVERYONE I KNOW YOU CAN BE LOUDER THEN THAT, RAISE YOUR GLASSES TO THE FUTURE POTTERS!!!"

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK I WILL KILL YOU!" Lily Evans shrieked loudly knowing he was nearby even though she couldn't see him or his evil friend, Potter for that matter.

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE??" McGonagall screamed looking very angry with a pale Remus Lupin trailing behind her.

"HIYA PROFESSOR! WERE AM I?? YOU DON'T KNOW! BUHUHAHAHAHA! YOU CAN'T GET ME! LILY AND JAMES FOREVER, LILY AND JAMES FOREVER!"

"Sirius Black get over here now."

"NOPE I'M GOOD. LILY AND JAMES SITTING IN A TREE."

"Finish that sentence and your dead, Black." Lily warned glancing widely around the Hall for the unseen enemy.

"K-I-S-S-I-NG"

"BLACK!"

"Potter, where are you?" McGonagall called momentarily turning her attention from Sirius.

"WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW WHERE HE IS???!!!" Sirius yelled.

"Listen, to me Mr. Black, you and Mr. Potter, and Mr. Lupin and Mr. Pettigrew have obviously worked together on this _extremely _stupid plan, stupider then most of your plans, it's creative I'll give you that, but you are going to lose a bundle of house points if you don't get down here now!"

"DON'T THINK I WILL, THANKS!"

**End Flashback**

You get the idea, right? It went on for awhile like that. McGonagall finally found me, Snivellus pointed me out, figures, and she figured out Sirius was on the Astronomy Tower, and when she finally managed to get past the sealing spell and the mouse Sirius had transfigured into a giant slab of rock and pushed in front of the door, she had to try to catch him on his broom. He was cackling madly the whole time. Once she got him down an hour later he had to be locked in a quiet room for a full three days before he could stop laughing, and by then we had a Quidditch match and she couldn't punish her star chaser, and beater right before a game, it was against Slytherin after all! Evans was so mad!

**She said I took her for granted  
Last thing I would do  
Oh I'll never understand it  
'Cause I thought she knew**

What was I talking about? Oh, yeah, Evans. Well I'm always talking about Evans, aren't I? More specifically I was trying to get at the idea that no matter what I do Evans never seems to get that I really and truly due love her! She thinks I just enjoy following her around and annoying her! And I won't deny that I do, but I really do lover her and I want her to date me more then anything. I don't think I could take it if she keeps rejecting me. Evans has become so much a part of my life and I don't even no how it happened, all I know is that I am definitely in love with Lily Evans, and I think I will go insane, she says I already am, if she doesn't go out with me.

**I thought she knew   
My world revolved around her  
My love light burns for her alone  
But she couldn't see the flame  
Only myself to blame  
I should have known  
I should have known**

It's sort of scary how much a part of my life she's become. The moment I saw her I became obsessed, there's something about her that just draws you in like a moth to a candle, it's this feeling that you know you shouldn't but even more so you know that you have to, it's this indescribable pull, I can't even explain it, but I'm drawn to her. I don't quite understand why. I only really know that I need her to be in my life, and I need her to understand that.

**A heart full of words left unspoken  
Now that we're through  
I'd sell my soul to have this silence broken  
Oh I thought she knew  
I thought she knew**

There are so many things I wish I could say to her, they sound so eloquent (My word of the week, Remus taught it to me, he is simply insistent that me and Sirius, sorry Sirius and _I, _need to expand our vocabularies.) in my head, but whenever I want to tell Evans how I feel I end up trying to tell her with some kind of elaborate prank and she gets all mad and freaks out. I don't really understand why she doesn't get that I really do love her though, even if my methods have been somewhat questionable.

**I thought she knew**  
**My world revolved around her  
My love light burns for her alone  
But she couldn't see the flame  
Only myself to blame  
I should have known  
I should have known**

When it comes right down to it everything in my life is about Evans. Every time I actually try in class and get a good score it's to impress Evans, when I win a Qudditch match it's not just about beating the other team it's about impressing Evans. I care about her so much and I don't know how to tell her. Every time I've tried she gets madder and madder. It hurts every time she rejects me but I know I have to get her to go out with me, I can't imagine a life without her.

**She was my once in a lifetime  
Happy ending come true  
Oh I guess I should have told her  
But I thought she knew  
I thought she knew  
I thought she knew  
I thought she knew  
I thought she knew  
I thought she knew**

**A/N I hope everyone liked it!!! Review! Review! Review! I promise to update if you review! 2,342 words!!!**


	4. Listen To Your Heart

**A/N Sorry for the wait, Everybody! Thank you so much to all the wonderful people who reviewed! Oh and BTW I changed my pen name from An-Jelly-Ca to aDdIcTeD2sTaRbUcKs. Anyways Read and Review!**

**Thank You to All Reviewers!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own nothing, no-thing.**

"Evans, can I talk to you for a minute?" Black asked coming up to me. I stared at him for a second not answering. I was wondering whether he was serious (no pun intended) was this the guy who had just days ago been biting my head off for not going out with his best friend? And he wanted me to talk to him? "Lily, please?" He repeated giving me his patented puppy dog stare (I hear he's trade marking it.) I swear he must have been a dog in another life.

"Fine." I answered getting up and following him out of the common room I saw James's…no…Potter's head shoot up when we walked out. "What is it you wanted to talk to me about?" I inquired after we had walked out of the entrance hall and were now wandering the grounds.

"Look, Evans, I know you think James is this arrogant jerk but…"

"You're not on about this again are you?"

"Just listen to me for a second." Black pleaded once again wearing me down with that stupid puppy dog look. Now I know how he gets McGonagall to let him off punishment well that and Qudditch.

"All right. Fine. Talk. You have five minutes. Go." I relented.

"Have you ever seen the way he looks at you?" Black asked me randomly and I glanced up in surprise from where I was examining a butterfly which had perched on a nearby tree.

"What are you talking about?"

"Have you ever seen the way he looks at you? Do you ever see the way his eyes get wider and his breathing gets all shallow? Haven't you noticed any of that?"

"Uh…" I stuttered wondering how to respond to his words/

"He doesn't look at any other girl like that, Evans, just you and only you since first year. For Merlin's sake, he ran into a wall the first time he saw you!"

"I just thought he'd zoned out."

"James doesn't zone out. That's my territory. Does he fall asleep in the middle of class? Sure. But zone out? No. He is one of the most focused people you'll ever meet. Which is how he managed to keep asking you out time and again even though you only reject him. But he can only take so much. A person can only take so much, Lily."

**I know there's something in the wake of your smile  
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah  
you've built a love but that love falls apart  
your little piece of heaven turns too dark**

"He'll move on?" I say meaning it as a statement but it comes out as more of a question.

"No. He won't, Lily, you're it, he's been moping for days, and he didn't even blink when Snivellus…"

"Don't call him that." I interrupt automatically.

"When Snivellus…" Black repeated. "Yelled across the hall that Gryfindors were trash and we were all going to die when the 'dark lord' comes to power."

"…"

"I thought so, Evans. Not even you can think of some way to defend Snivellus for that, and yet James the staunchest detractor of all things Snivellus didn't even look up!"

"…"

"And you say all the time that James is an arrogant jerk and yet you don't really even know him, you've gone to school with him for years but you've never taken the chance to get to know him! What do you really know about James? What?"

"I know he's arrogant. I know he's a jerk."

"He might be a little full of himself sometimes, but James a jerk? Never. Did you know, Evans that James takes me in every summer because my parents hate me would soon curse me as look at me?"

"…" I stared into his dark eyes for a second it seemed so odd that Sirius the ever happy prankster was telling me that his life was hell and that James the arrogant jerk was the only thing that made it okay and it made me wonder if what Black says is true how could I say that Potter was a jerk?"

**listen to your heart  
when he's calling for you  
listen to your heart  
there's nothing else you can do  
I don't know where you're going  
and I don't know why  
but listen to your heart  
before you tell him goodbye**

"Is it worth it?" Black asks and I turn my attention once more from the butterfly I had been staring at to look up at him.

"Is what worth it?"

"Is it worth it to keep insisting that James, who is perhaps one of the kindest people you will ever meet, is a jerk that he doesn't care about anyone besides himself? Is it worth it to keep pretending, Evans? I know you like him. But for some reason you can't just admit it."

"I don't know." I hear myself answer as though from far away.

**Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile  
the precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah  
they're swept away and nothing is what is seems  
the feeling of belonging to your dreams**

"One day you're going to wake up and you're going to realize that it's too late, and you blew it. And when that day comes you're going to regret what you've done. You'll regret letting what could be the best chance at love you will ever get in your entire life pass you by. You'll regret it, Evans. I hope you wake up and realize that before it's too late, for you and for James.

"…" I didn't know how to respond to him. Was this seriously the same Sirius Black I have class with every day? The boy who bewitches chalk to right insults about our Professors on the board? The boy who put a spell on the stool during our sorting?

"I thought so."

**Listen to your heart  
when he's calling for you  
listen to your heart  
there's nothing else you can do  
I don't know where you're going  
and I don't know why  
but listen to your heart  
before you tell him goodbye**

"…" I really don't know how to respond to him anymore. I can't say he's wrong but I really don't want to say he's right. Because if he's right I've wasted so much time, and worst of all I've hurt James, who may not be the jerk I thought he was after all.

"Evans, do you know what your problem is?"

"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me." I answer with a small smile.

"Yup, as a matter of fact I'm going to. You only listen to you head. I bet you came to Hogwarts with your whole seven years planned, didn't plant to get involved with anyone, planned to get straight A's, planned to be the best. But you didn't plan for James, and that is what scares you. He doesn't fit into your cookie cutter life style you've planned for yourself, so you push him away thinking that he's wrong for you. But the truth is that is why he is _so_ right for you!"

"Um…" I looked at him shocked by the wisdom behind his words. I mean I knew he wasn't the idiot he pretends to be, he is beating me in Transfiguration after all not that I'll admit that out loud, not that McGonagall will admit it either. Sirius is top of our year in Transfiguration. Potions not so much. No one should let him near a potion. Ever.

**And there are voices  
that want to be heard  
so much to mention  
but you can't find the words  
the scent of magic  
the beauty that's been  
when love was wilder than the wind**

"Just go talk to him, Evans, you know I'm right. Throw away your pride and go talk to him."

"I don't want to."

"Just go. Evans, I know you don't like watching James mope anymore then I do, and I know you know that he isn't the jerk you thought he was. So just go, talk to him. You won't regret it, but you will regret not talking to him."

"Fine."

"Yes!" Sirius shrieked turning back into the happy Sirius everyone knows so well.

**Listen to your heart...mm..mmm**

Okay so Black was right. I should talk to James. And I will. Tomorrow. Or perhaps the next day. Maybe next week.

"Oh and Evans?"

"Yeah, Black?"

"You'll talk to him tomorrow morning before classes."

"_Fine_." I answer heaving a long suffering sigh.

**I don't know where you're going  
and I don't know why  
but listen to your heart  
before you tell him goodbye**

**A/N Review everybody! I hope you liked it! Review! 1,504 words!!! **


	5. Crazy for this Girl

**A/N I am so sorry for the wait!**

**Thanks to all reviewers.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Song: Crazy for this Girl by Evan & Jaron**

I remember the day that I first met Lily Evans, yes I did run into a wall. It wasn't the first day of term, however. I first met her on one fateful day; it was the start of classes for the year and Gryffindors had Transfiguration first period, I was walking down the hall with Sirius, Remus, and Peter when I saw a flash of red whip along the corridor. I had shrugged it off as Sirius nudged me to point out that Snivellus had entered the hallway. Sensing that this was a prime opportunity to prank him I shook the vision of red hair from my mind.

"Hello, Snivellus." I said cheerfully walking up with Sirius next to me.

"Potter." He responded.

"Got your nose shut in your book already, Snivellus?" Snape rolled his eyes at James.

"Maybe you should try it. It might make your IQ higher then that of a rock."

"That's it!" I exclaimed pulling put my wand. "I'll show you!" I said and muttered a spell. Soon Snape was upside down being released and then yanked back up.

"Bye, bye, Snivelly." Sirius said cheerfully giving Snape a wave. We headed down the hall and my thoughts roamed back to the flash of red. It looked like fire, but I could tell that it was someone's hair. "McGonagall's going to kill us." Sirius said cheerfully as Remus intently hit his text book into his forehead.

"Yes, yes she is." I said wisely. We continued walking and were turning into the hallway where our classroom was when I saw a petite redhead in the corridor right outside the room she was yelling at some boy like a foot taller then her but he seemed terrified. I was so intent on her that I didn't notice that the door to the classroom was shut and I ran straight into it and then I stumbled back and into the wall. Sirius doubled over in laughter and I glared at him.

Lily was special from the beginning. I couldn't tear my eyes off her from that day back in first year. She has so much fire, so much passion. And I wonder how she never notices that I love that about her, I love everything about her. I glance up briefly just in time to see Sirius speaking quietly to Lily and then they both get up and leave the room. I felt a tightening in my gut but I shook it off and looked back at my homework which I could barely focus on.

**She rolls the window down  
And she  
Talks over the sound  
Of the cars that pass us by  
And I dont know why  
But shes changed my mind**

I don't know what happened. I've never ever been the kind of person to stay fixated on any one thing for a long stretch of time, (Quidditch and Pranking excluded, of course!) but with Lily I've never strayed from my infatuation with her. And I love her. But she doesn't believe me. I've tried to tell her time and again but every time I do she yells at me, hexes me, or laughs at me. I don't see what can be funny about it, and I don't see why she won't believe me. But then I've never understood Lily. But I've always loved her.

**Would you look at her  
She looks at me  
Shes got me thinking about her constantly  
But she dont know how I feel  
And as she carries on without a doubt  
I wonder if shes figured out  
Im crazy for this girl**

I can remember the day I knew I loved her. Really knew. I think I've always loved at her and as cliché as it sounds I think it was love at first sight, for me anyway but I like to think it was for her too, and she just doesn't know it yet. But anyway I first admitted to myself that I loved her one day in third year, I doubt she remembers it but I had failed another Potions exam thing, and Slughorn was warning me that if I didn't pass the next test that I would be held back. My grades had gotten that low. And Lily overheard it and for once she didn't laugh. Her face was serious and she looked at me and said 'I'll help you' and she did, she was my partner on the next test and she walked me through it, after that though she saw me pranking Snivellus and she was mad again. But I knew that Lily was a wonderful person, perfect, Lily is the light of my life even if she does hate me. Sometimes though I think it would be a little easier if she didn't though.

**She was the one to hold me  
The night  
The sky fell down  
And what was I thinking when  
The world didnt end  
Why didnt I know what I know now**

I'm sick of this game. This back and forth. I'm sick of joking around, and I'm sick of her not taking me serously. I am serious. And that is S-E-R-I-O-U-S. I am not Sirius. S-I-R-I-U-S. Because I know Sirius or even Remus would say something about that if they heard. I just want Lily to acknowledge that I'm not as shallow as she thinks I am, I just want her to admit that I do care about her, I'm sick of hearing that my feelings are fake. I think I know. I can't take this anymore. I'm going to talk to Lily. Tommorow. Or maybe the next day,

"You'll talk to her at breakfast." Sirius commanded somehow reading my mind as he walked back into the room.

"But…"

"No." Sirius said interuppting me. I sighed knowing I couldn't argue with him.

Right now  
**Face to face  
All my fears  
Pushed aside  
And right now  
Im ready to spend the rest of my life  
With you**

**A/N Reviieeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww! I looooove reviews! Hope everyone liked!**


	6. Tearin' Up My Heart

**A/N This is the last chapter, people! It is finished! My first Harry Potter story, is finished. I don't know Ending stories always makes me sad, which must be why I seldom do. (ponders this) lol. **

**Song: Tearin' Up My Heart by 'NSYNC**

**Disclaimer: What is the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah. Ownership? Nada.**

**Lily's POV**

Breakfast starts in half an hour. I have half an hour until my inevitable doom. This is all Black's fault. I knew what I thought about James before Black had to come into the picture and screw it all up. Potter was an arrogant, pompous jerk. He cared about no one but himself and his friends with the obvious exception of Remus were the same. But now Sirius had to go and make me recalculate my analysis. And now I can't seem to stop obsessing over what is obviously going to be the worst moment in my life. I can feel my stomach tying itself into knots.

Based on what I've gathered from Remus and Black, Potter is a genuinely good person, and a great friend. But based on what I've seen with my own eyes he's a jerk. And I trust evidence. But there has always been this feeling that has nagged at me about him, as though I were judging him too quickly as though I was wrong. But still a feeling is not a fact. And the facts say that James is a jerk. I need to know whether James is sincere; I don't want to take a leap of faith or anything else that greeting cards are always spouting. I'm sick of hearing about how love is blind and blah, blah, blah. I most certainly am not blind and I have seen Potter act like a jerk with my own two eyes.

I need to go to the Great Hall now; I've avoided leaving my dormitory as long as possible but Breakfast is starting in barely fifteen minutes and Potter always gets there early; if I want any hope of talking to him without an audience I should go now.

**It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you  
But when we are apart, I feel it too  
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain  
with or without you**

**James' POV**

Sirius has something planned I know he does. His eyes are dancing like they always do when he knows something that everyone else doesn't. Sort of like Remus' do when he can answer the teachers questions while the rest of us sleep/taunt Snivellus/zone out/pass notes/pull pranks. But I fail to see the humor which he evidently does, because if you take one look at Sirius you can tell that he is seconds away from bursting into laughter. Oh yes, he has something planned. And I have a sinking suspicion it involves me.

Isn't it bad enough that he is forcing me to talk to Lily?! Although nothing is never been enough for Sirius he always wants to do more or know more; this does not necessarily apply to school work however. He could care less what he knows about Potions or Divination. I can see Slughorn clutching his chest at the thought of his precious _perfectly_ scientific subject being compared with Trelawney's load of rubbish predictions. I must make a note to compare Trelawney's class to his one day making sure to mention many _seemingly_ obvious similarities. With any luck he'll have a panic attack and have to be carted off to the Hospital Wing; leaving us free to do whatever we want.

At this point I glanced up from the table and towards the doors my breath caught in my chest when I spotted her. She was clutching her books and looking my way. I pushed one of my bangs out of my face impatiently intent on my Lily-watching. She seemed to be headed this way. Well duh, she is a Gryffindor, but I mean specifically toward us. Although I never move my eyes from her I can sense Sirius shuffling and coughing hastily to stifle laughter. I hear Remus reprimand him; hissing about he was ruining everything. Clearly, my library loving friend has been dragged into whatever psychotic plan Sirius has thought up. Lily is so close now just fifteen feet away; she's shuffling her feet moving slowly not at all in her usual manner. She glances to my left where Sirius is sitting and scowls heavily before her eyes rest on me once more. She is in front of me now and our eyes lock. Emerald meets Hazel and the world seems to freeze. And then Sirius coughs (it sounded suspiciously like get on with it) breaking the spell. Lily sighs and tucks a strand of red hair behind her ear.

"Can I talk to you, Potter?" Lily asks in a hard voice.

"…" I stare at her blankly.

"James, please?" She asked her tone softening. I snap out of my reverie and nod following her to the far corner of the Hall. Although I doubt it matters much as I'm positive Sirius and Remus are using a spell we, The Marauders, developed specifically for the purpose of listening in on conversations people prefer were left unheard. I stare at her my gaze unwavering as I wait for her to speak. She shifts her weight nervously, her eyes focused on a point just above my head.

**Baby I don't understand  
Just why we can't be lovers  
Things are getting out of hand  
Trying too much, but baby we can't win**

**Lily's POV**

I don't think I can do this. I've hated him for years and now I'm going to apologize and admit that I like him?! I'm on the verge of having a panic attack. I take a deep breath and focus my eyes at a torch just above his head and open my mouth to speak.

"James, I-I'm sorry." I stutter choking on the words. James looks shocked his mouth has fallen up.

"W-what?" He asks. The poor boy looks genuinely shocked.

"I'm sorry for judging you, I'm sorry I was cruel to you, I'm sorry I never got to know you, and I'm really sorry I tried to assume what you were thinking without ever taking the time to get to know you. I'm sorry, James, so incredibly sorry." I say swallowing I think it may have actually caused me physical pain to admit that.

**Let it go  
If you want me girl, let me know  
I am down, on my knees  
I can't take it anymore**

**James' POV**

Did Lily just say what I think she said?! Have I fallen and hit my head? Have the Slytherins finally learned to do a decent hex? Nah, they couldn't have and I don't remember hitting my head so unless I'm suffering from some kind of amnesia Lily is really saying she's sorry, and that means she admits that I really do like her, and maybe that means she likes me too! "Uh…" I say gaping at her in shock. She looks a bit concerned. I think she's questioning my sanity…wait…she always does that. She arches an eyebrow and I manage to find the will to speak. "I'm sorry that I've been such a jerk, Lily." I finally am able to say something. Go me! Now what do we do?! We've both apologized so now what do we do? I can see Remus mumbling something about incompetent fools who don't know how to carry a conversation and Sirius is staring a hole into Lily silently demanding that she talk.

**It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you  
But when we are apart, I feel it too  
And no matter what I do, I feel the pain  
with or without you**

**Lily's POV**

I loathe Black. Really, I do, it's all his fault that I'm going to do what I'm about to do. I loathe him. I absolutely despise him; I can't think of any type of revenge horrible enough to repay him for this.

"Remember what you always used to ask me?" I say looking at James. It's not the most eloquent way to get on the subject of going out but I don't really care, I'm not feeling articulate at the moment.

"Yeah." James said his eyes sparkling and clearly asking her why she would need to ask such a question.

"I think, that maybe if you asked again, I wouldn't turn you down." I say; I could just ask him out myself but for the sake of his ego I'll let him do it. James glances at me suspiciously but something resembling hope flickers in his eyes and I wonder how I could never have noticed how expressive his eyes really are.

"Lilywouldyougooutwithme?" James asked without breathing it really sounded more like 'mmmphimble' but I have a fairly good idea of what he said. And while I could draw out his suffering and force him to repeat himself I'll spare him; just this once.

"Yes." I answer grinning at him.

"Yes??" He asks not daring to believe it.

"Yes." I answer. I think he's gone into shock again, but then he snaps out of it and leans down his lips meet mine and I wonder why I wasted all these years. I'm dimly aware of Black catcalling and whistling loudly; the rest of the Gryffindor following suit; in fact pretty much everyone, even some Slytherins are clapping. Honestly, if they were all so certain we should date why didn't they say something?!...Oh wait they did…

**Baby don't mis-understand (don't misunderstand)  
What I'm trying to tell ya  
In the corner of my mind (corner of my mind)  
Baby, it feels like we are running out of time**

**A/N It is finished! I was going to add one more chapter, but it feels finished. Thanks for all the Reviews throughout the story guys, they meant a lot.**

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**Review, everyone, I want to know what you thought of the ending!**


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